


flower of the universe, child of mine

by Duck_Life



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men Red (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Family Issues, Gen, Mind Control, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 17:24:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16223813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duck_Life/pseuds/Duck_Life
Summary: Jean fights a Nova-possessed Rachel and comes to terms with her past failings.





	flower of the universe, child of mine

The thing that might damn them all is that Cassandra’s not completely, 100-percent controlling Rachel. She’s letting the other woman’s own insecurities, anger and fear temper the attack. She’s taking thoughts that were already in Rachel’s head and twisting them, contorting them so she can use them against Jean and the X-Men. 

“Rachel, please!” Kurt yells, dashing forward to meet her as she does her level best to tear apart Searebro. “We’re your  _ friends _ . Stop this.”

Her eyes narrow, almost completely white, and she telekinetically tosses him aside like a ragdoll. “Go nurse your broken heart somewhere else, Elf,” she says, her voice somehow fiery and cold at the same time. “I’m here for Jean.”

Energy crackles around Jean as she turns to face her daughter. “Rachel, you’re stronger than Nova,” she says, holding her ground. “You can fight her.”

“I’m not Dark Phoenix,  _ Mom _ ,” Rachel snarls, the Hound marks on her face standing out in stark contrast to her scarily white eyes. “You’re not going to save me with the power of love. Not that  _ you _ could.” 

Honey Badger darts forward to join the fray, but Jean throws an arm out, stopping her. “Gabby, no. Go catch up with Gambit and the others.”

“Gabby,” Rachel says, her terrifying gaze fixating on the girl. She swings her arm out and the wall of invisible force slams Gabby into the wall behind her. “Clone of a clone. Barely even a  _ person _ .” Jean tries to step between Rachel and Gabby, but Rachel throws up a psionic bubble, knocking her aside. She strides toward where she’s pinned Gabby to the surface of their glass enclosure. “But Jean still treats you like a daughter. More than I ever got.” Rachel moves closer to Gabby, who struggles against the force pushing against her. 

“Rachel—”

“ _ No _ ,” Rachel says, turning to glare at Jean. She hurls a psionic bolt at Jean, who easily deflects it. They’re at a bit of an impasse. Jean can’t break through her telekinetic shields, but Rachel can’t throw anything at Jean that she can’t block. They’re too evenly matched in terms of power. Rachel can’t hurt Jean.

But she can hurt Gabby. 

“You’re not the first child she’s treated like her own,” Rachel says, cruel intent marring her expression. “There were others. Kitty Pryde, Sally Blevins, Julio Richter. Artie and Leech. Jubilee. God, even a younger version of herself. Everyone but me.” Gabby sniffs, her claws hanging useless at her sides. She can’t move. “And, of course, everyone until they got to a certain age. She doesn’t like you once you get older. She doesn’t like you once you’ve got too much trauma bouncing around in your head to be much fun. See, my mother, she likes to play house. But that’s all it is, playing. As soon as she gets a load of the damage some people have in their heads, she panics and lets you go.” Still holding Gabby with her telekinesis, she reaches out with her psychic abilities, the combined might of Cassandra Nova and Rachel Grey dipping into Gabby’s consciousness. Gabby flinches. “Let’s see how much damage we can do. Let’s break Jean’s little doll so she doesn’t want to play with you anymore.”

“Rachel!” Kurt yells, stumbling to his feet across the corridor. “ _ Mein Gott _ , enough! If we’re comparing who has the worst mother, I win every time. And I still wouldn’t put an innocent child in danger just to get back at Mystique.” 

“Kurt,” Jean says, shaking her head. “It’s not her. It’s Cassandra Nova.” She stares hopelessly at Gabby and Rachel through the haze of Rachel’s shields. “That’s not Rachel.”

“Like you would know!” Rachel screeches, turning on Jean but still keeping Gabby suspended. “Like you ever cared enough to get to know your daughter.” 

Jean doesn’t argue, doesn’t defend herself. She doesn’t fight back at all. When she looks up, her eyes are dotted with tears, and the surprise alone sends a jolt through the other woman. “You’re right,” Jean says quietly, her palms lying flat against her sides. “Rachel… you’re right. I haven’t been there for you.  When we first met, I… I knew that you had a version of me in your head, that you had a mother who loved you and raised you, and that I wasn’t her. That I could never measure up to her. And I was scared, and stupid, and I never even tried.” 

“You’re damn right you never tried,” Rachel says.

“I’m sorry,” Jean repeats, looking helplessly at her daughter. “I wish I could change it. I wish I could go back and watch you grow up the way I got to watch Nathan grow up.”

“I never asked you for that,” Rachel says, her hold on Gabby loosening. “I never wanted you to change time, or rescue me or any of that. All I wanted you to do was  _ be there _ . I showed up and it was like my existence was the worst news you’d ever heard.”

“Rachel, this is Cassandra Nova doing this to you,” Kurt says. “She’s filling you with hate and anger so you’ll attack your friends.”

“No,” Jean says, watching Rachel through the sheen of her telekinetic shield. “Nova’s controlling her, yes, but that anger… it’s not artificial. It’s real. And I deserve it.” Rachel’s breaths grow labored. She releases Gabby, who slides to the floor looking rattled. “I’m sorry, Ray. I’m so sorry. But if I had ever gotten my shit together enough to be a mom to you, that’s the most important thing I could have taught you— your emotions are  _ yours _ .” A tear rolls down her cheek and she doesn’t even move to wipe it away, because this is more important. “Not Nova’s. Not Ahab’s. Not mine. Your emotions belong to  _ you _ , Rachel, and you can’t let anyone use them against you.”

A tremor runs through Rachel, and she’s breathing even heavier now. Suddenly she rears up, eyes flaring, and sends out a psionic wave that actually knocks Jean off her feet, throwing her against the wall. 

Jean doesn’t even move to protect herself, just sits up against the wall, watching Rachel, waiting. Everything that happens next depends only on Rachel. 

“Get out,” Rachel says. Jean looks at her questionably before she realizes that Rachel isn’t talking to her. “ _ Get out _ ,” Rachel repeats, her hands reaching for her own temples. “Get… out!” A psionic halo appears around her head, and then they all feel the surge of energy that pulses out of Rachel as Cassandra Nova’s reins break and fall limp. 

Wherever Nova is, Genosha or somewhere else, she’s not in Rachel’s head anymore. 

Rachel stands a few feet away from where her mother crouches, her shoulders shaking as she drags in deep breaths, puffs them out. And then she walks over to Jean and holds out her hands. 

Jean doesn’t take them right away. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly, looking up at her daughter. “Rachel… when I met you, I was so wrapped up in thinking about what it meant for my future… and I ignored everything about  _ your _ past.” 

“It’s not like I expected you to understand,” Rachel says, and though Nova’s influence is gone, she’s just as fierce as before. Only now, her anger isn’t being molded into a weapon. It’s just her, scraped raw and confessing all the things that make her feel like a failure. “I knew you weren’t  _ my _ mom. But… you were the closest thing I had and you couldn’t even  _ try  _ to…” Her voice cracks. “I just wanted you to try.  _ All I ever wanted you to do was try _ .” 

“I’m sorry,” Jean says again. “I never wanted you to be Phoenix, or Marvel Girl. Because… because I thought I could protect you from everything  _ I’d _ been through, as Phoenix and as Marvel Girl.”

“I didn’t need protecting,” Rachel says. “I just needed my mom. And… and you never even  _ tried _ .”

Jean sniffs wetly. “I didn’t try,” she agrees. “But I’m going to. I’m going to start trying now… Prestige.”

She takes Rachel’s hands, and Rachel helps her mother to her feet. There’s a long moment where it’s obvious they’re both thinking about hugging each other, but instead they just keep holding hands. 

They’re both telepaths. In that moment, they don’t even need to say anything. It’s enough just to think it. Enough just to be there, together. And, maybe for the first time, to really understand each other. 


End file.
